Posts

taking way too long with divorce, transition, and now I'm being doubted by family

Image
It has been about 2 years since I came out to my immediate family as genderfluid. And in this time in discussions with my GP, who believes I'm Trans, but just cope with the disphoria, I have tried to girl up as often as I can..it takes a lot of effort however. During 2023 my spouse had gone nuclear a few times with words. Randomly stating she does not trust me in women's bathrooms, later comparing my disphoria to being like buffalo bill from the silence of the lambs. And saying I dressed like a hooker. Yes this photo. She had even told me the reason she didn't look at me or comfort me when I was sobbing on the bedroom floor after finding a 4cm diameter lump was because I disgusted her, and she didn't like physical contact as she's asexual (which is odd as she was hypersexual when we first started off). The second to last straw was when I finally pushed to go visit a friend for a girls night out, tried to kiss me as I left which I recoiled be...

Hello it's been a while. I've grown...

Image
Having been in a rut since my last trip to reading in August, I opted to push myself to go out locally(ish)in girl mode. There was a local goth night in Swansea and I figured as the only other option was a Drag Bar for hen parties and gawkers (no thanks!) I would go. On Saturday I told my wife I needed to be done before it's time for me to go out, she paused, and asked in a dropped vocal tone if it was the goth night. She said that she had an invite and stomped back in her room.  I stood at the door and told her that I do not want to be the reason she doesn't do something she wishes to, and should go regardless, as we will have times we will inevitably bump into each other. After 2 minutes she said she didn't have a lift etc anyway. Later she had relaxed and even gave me a foundation shed not used as it wasn't right for her (and my usual one had come off too ruddy). After 3 attempts I was happy with the makeup look, just in time for my ride. As to the goth night... I ar...