half a years progress?

Feeling very much stuck in groundhog day. Since being officially on the waiting list for gender services I seem to have suffered disphoric sensations for longer and harder than previous. Made worse as my drive in January and February to have one day a week in Girl mode was faced with distancing and tutting, making it feel very uncomfortable.

While the past few weeks my wife has been remarkably able to do grocery shopping on her own (where she would insist went alone to do even after testicular surgery), and has started to sort out her bank account. 

The bank account thing is strange in context of her past avoidance. Previously, she had refused to fully utilise the current accounts (personal and a joint account) set up during her Visa periods, #incase of the big bad IRS". She had in January in the midst of my boundary push even complained on social media that she wished she had a bank account to pay for things. I had to immediately rebuttal this in reply, and upon returning home from work called her bank and pushed the phone into her hand after telling the bank advisor that my wife would like to update her address. I had to argue with her then that it's likely a new card had been issued to an old address due to her procrastination of 3 years.

So this sudden motivation of hers to get stuff done is refreshing, but it doesn't alter the fact I now view all her actions as motivated by her own needs regardless of others, especially after complaining that I spent too long with my dad after his heart attack. 

I am filing for divorce. 

The only thing I am now wrestling with is my concern for her welfare afterwards, despite knowing she does not care for mine other than to sustain her life without paying her way.