CW: accused of being a sexual predator
This was written June 17th, and left in drafts.
A week ago after enjoying a bbq meal with the wife I had a moment of mental calm, no chorus of noise which has been getting worse for the past decade, I was in masculine mode and enjoying having done a days yard work and splitting ash logs for the bbq. It was at this moment wife felt like she was doing cleanup oon her own (I was cleaning metal grills down with a wire brush while they were still hot), so decided to argue. In which my genderfludity was brought up by her and weaponised.
Now the advantage of not suffering noise of ADHD, being in the mindset that matched my body, and no longer ashamed of this side of me, was that I just wasn't reacting emotionally.
But then she hit me with "I cant trust you in womens bathrooms"
This actually did anger me. I have a deep hatred of ny kind if preditation, whether in be sexual or financial. So I told her that was a line crossed, that I was deeply offended by that assertion. I had gathered keys to leave but remembered I'd had that beer.
The argument ended.
But ever since whenever she has been angry at ironically a lot of injustices, including calling out the circulation of a minor court case abroad where its got little traction here as "the nazis clutching at straws to justify thier trans hate" has just been hollowing.
Why does she say one thing privately and publicly then does rhe opposite to me.
Today however I am feeling everything opposite today. I have just worked a full week at work, come home to a list of rants and moans I cant possibly fix (financial or just that someone's own choices to have a party in thier own garden was too nosy for example). And now i have a list as long as my arm of things i got to do today (digging in garden, weed barrier laying etc.), But truth be told I just want to sit in a cool building, and practice makeup and enjoy myself.
I have an airsoft gun to repair later which was going to be my great, but now disinterested.
If i won the lottery tonight, i think i would be really struggling on my choices.
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