just when things get better, you find out they are worse

I bought a used cellphone for my wife last year, but its not been reliable and sometimes it goes days or weeks without being able to make or receive a call.

So this week I broke down and bought another when I really couldnt spare the cash. She needs a phone in event something happens while im at my 9-10 hour a day job.

 However as her phone was a later android OS. The phone just would not move things accross.

So just doing things manually I went into whatsapp to see if this is backing up to be recovered and saw a preview of a conversation.  This was witth mutual friend who has dripped off social media but now only messages my wife.

Well it turns out my wife has been painting a picture of me as a lazy inattentive husband, and compared me to her ex that took active steps to make her homeless.

I have, since we arrived in this country worked every hour I can at my job, tried fir every promotion, not because i wanted the job, but because we needed it. I have been the sole earner on the understanding that we both have come up flat trying to figure out the taxes for US citizens abroad.

Through hard work, and a bit of luck we have gone through starting off living in an outbuilding at my parents place (because they butted heads), to a rental we couldnt afford inittialy, to now owning our home that when the slightest thing happens is not good enough.

I read somewhere that 16% of adults diagnosed on the autistic spectrum in the uk acheive full time employment. I also have ADHD.

So for the past 12 years I have abandoned my own hobbies while supporting my wife and not concentrated to much on myself  I come home exhausted and apparently not doing enough around the house.

I am far from the opinion of mans work and womens work, and try my best. But if i am being maligned for not carying enough if the burden while she has a spell of illness (and point blank refuses to see a doctor), then what the actuall heck can I ever do thats enough.