when it started to make a bit more sense

In 2021 my wife and I finaly got on the property ladder (luck, privelage, and 60 hour workweeks due to the covid backlog at work), we had made it. Bills were coming down (ha ha ha, fuck you 2022!) And yet I was still not happy. 

Crossdressing which I had been repressing since my wife caught me online  for 9 years before had become a temptation again. I then used faceapp on an offchance and it suddenly made a bit more sense. 

While faceapp needlessly de-ages you. I realised that I could bear to see this in the mirror, where I couldnt stand my own that particular day.

This was the moment I knew it wasnt a kink, there was something deeper, I had to speak to others and find out why.

So I joined two websites to speak with others. A descission that while making a bit of bother down the line for me, I still consider the right choice for my sanity.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

lovebombing

2 weeks on from my last entry, I have been in a state of confusion as my wife has continued the course of action, today for example we updated her provisional driver's licence. But there have been hints of the same old person underneath here and there, such as insisting my phone being silent because it buzzed all night (it doesn't, it has an automatic do not disturb schedule). This actually led me to miss a critical call for help one day last week. What is bothering me today is a hat. For context I misplaced a multicam ball cap on a morning run last Sunday, and my marpat boonie is also missing. I am planning on looking for a cheapie at the car boot market tomorrow. This morning after a small instant where wife opted to bicker at me (which I shrugged and grey rocked), she changed her demeanor by time I was tidying the car up to go update her driving licence. She presented me sweetly with a smile a new multicam boonie she picked up in town as an early birthday gift. But it has be...
Read more

A fantastic day

Image
Where to start. Yesterday I finished work early, and after running some errands went to my Sister's place to start the year off properly. New Hair! The wig I settled on from AliExpress on friday arrived sunday (wtf! That was soooo quick), and was just everything I hoped for. Ive not had the chance to trim the lace or brush it out but its just amazing. As predicted the had front wig I previously used was a good start but, the lacefront hairline just brings it closer to passing. Make-up! Rhe foundation BB cream I had from the wife was just not the right tone, but my sister used her own foundation (which was a lighter tone) and my W7 eye pallette to bring my face up to spec. Some very mild contouring and eyeliner made a difference. While no AbbyCats, I was euphoric at the difference.  Sister has a plan to take me cosmetic shopping so I dont get store security called on me again (I was wearing my 'hoodie of dismorphic release (+1)' so must have looked suspect). And ...
Read more